33 Programming Jokes for the Dev in your Life

Some say programmers can crack a lot of things, but they struggle to crack a joke. Get it?

Well, who says that programmers don’t have a sense of humor? They also need to vent in between the coding and debugging. How better than to laugh at their own hard times, with the people who understand them best – their colleagues.

This article gathers 33 best programming jokes online to make your trial-and-error development days a bit easier to get through.

Best Java and C Jokes

1. Why does C get all the girls, and Java gets none?
– Because C doesn’t treat them as objects.

2. Two programmers are talking about their social life, and one says:
– The only date I get is the Java Update.

3. Two students, a boy and a girl, are sitting in a class when the boy tries to look under the girl’s shirt.
Girl: Hey! What are you doing?
Boy: Members from the same class can access private area!

4. A guy is chain-smoking outside when an old lady sees him and says:
– You shouldn’t smoke, those things will kill you. Look at the warning on the box!
The guy continues puffing and says:
– I don’t care. I am a Java Programmer. We don’t care about warnings, only about errors.

5. When you ask your partner what’s wrong and they say everything is all right and they mean it.

Image Credit: Improgrammer.net

6. Why do Java developers wear glasses?
– Because they don’t C#!

7. I had a problem. I used Java. Now, I have a ProblemFactory.

8. Java try-catch block explained.

Image Credit: Improgrammer.net

9. How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
– Zero. That’s a hardware issue.

10. Knock, knock.
– Who’s there.
[very long pause…]
– Java!

11. Java and C are telling jokes to each other. C writes something on the blackboard, and asks Java:
– Do you get the reference?
Java didn’t.

12. A C++ walks into a bar and sees a C. C is drunk, falling on the floor, spitting and swearing.
– How classless! – says C++.

13. Coding with C++…

Image Credit: The9gag.com

14. What is an object-oriented way to become wealthy?
– Inheritance.

15. C programmers never die. They are just <cast> into VOID.

Jokes About Programmers

1. What is a programmer?
– An organism that turns caffeine and fast food into software.

2. A guy meets a girl who wants to be a web developer. Falls in love instantly. He comes to her place to see a house full of pet spiders.

3. An optimist says: “The glass is half-full”
A pessimist says: “The glass is half empty”.
A programmer says: “The glass is twice as large as necessary!”

4. A programmer talks with a philanthropist:
– If you want to make the world a better place, why don’t you get the original source code?

5. Why did the programmer quit his job?
– He never got arrays.

6. Programmers like to solve problems.
When they run out of problems.
They create new problems!

7. A programmer buys a kilo of bananas in the market. He returns angry after a while and says:
– There are 24 grams off!

8. Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.

9. A programmer ends up in hell.
– What did I do? I was a kind and honest person!
– You disabled right-clicks on your web-pages – the devil responds.

10. A programmer sees “While there’s hope, there’s life” written on the wall. He decides to edit it and writes: “While there’s code, there’s bug”.

Other Best Programming Jokes

1. What is an algorithm?
A word programmers use when they don’t want to explain what they did.

2. How does machine learning work?
Q: What is 11 times 11?
A: It’s 65.
Q: Not at all. It’s 121.
A: It’s 121.

3. What is hardware?
A part of your computer that you can kick.

4. Two bytes meet, and one says:
Wow, you don’t look well. Are you ill?
The other responds:
Nah, I’m just feeling a bit off.

5. A computer is mightier than the pen, sword, and usually the programmer.

6. A SQL query walks into a bar, walks up to two tables, and asks – Can I join you?

7. Why are computer like men?
–      To get them going, you first have to turn them on.
–      They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.
–      They should help you solve a problem, but usually, they are the cause of the problem.
–      Once you decide to commit to one, you realize you could’ve gotten a better model if you waited a bit.

8. Java, Phyton, C++, and ANSI hold a meeting.
Java: OK, people. How to make women more interested in us?
C++: Maybe more exceptions?
Phyton: We should define our methods?
ANSI-C: Maybe stop treating them as objects?